Many of us are living alone during this pademic and have gone months without seeing our families and friends. So now more than ever it is essential that we practice good self-care that focuses on the mind, body and soul.
Find sources of comfort such as taking a bath, practicise good sleep hygiene, create a sacred place in your home for dedicated journalling, cook yourself a delicious meal, take up an online course, learn a new language, meditate and get working on your body. Gently challenge your inner critic and validate your emotions for e.g. 'I am doing the best I can it's okay to fail' and 'I can feel anxious and still carry on with the presentation'. Give yourself the time you deserve, be patient with yourself as if you were nurturing a child and offer yourself words of kindness and compassion everyday such 'I am worthy of love', 'I am lovable' and 'I can learn and heal from this'. Maintaining a basic routine will put you in the drivers seat and help you feel more in control.
Take time to work on your personal life goals and look more inwards at your own strengths and weaknesses. Don't allow your limitations to stop you, but allow them to pave the path for further learning and growth so that you can grow into the person you were always meant to be. Think of goals that you have been trying to achieve but for one reason or the other have never managed to achieve them. It may be time to start looking at areas that most define your life such as friendships, fitness and even self-care. These are areas that we often neglect when we get caught up in only one aspect of our world.
When you rely on the 'self' for happiness sometimes nothing else matters.
We all fall into patterns of negative thoughts and emotions from time to time which are normal and instinctive. These are often triggered by life circumstances and everyday stresses. Below are some tools that you can implement to reserve your energy and turn draining energy into positive energy:
1. Critic - our biggest enemy is our internal critic. Watch out for, tame and restructure that internal chatter by adjusting or correcting limiting beliefs that are holding you back.
2. Blocks - identify key blocks on your energy and take necessary steps i.e. communicating your needs clearly, cutting the cord and setting boundaries and standards for yourself.
3. Detach - it is time to create space for yoursef. When we are energetically attached to things/people or an outcome they take up space in most aspects of our life. These attachments create blockages.
4. Pause - take a moment to recongise unhelpful thinking habits such as comparing yourself to others, all or nothing thinking and catastrophising. Everyone is in their own lane so you can take your power back.
5. Gratitude - negative thoughts depletes us of energy and attracts more negative thoughts. Practice gratitude and mantras everyday.
6. Create - remember you are the creator of your own life. You can heal and take responsibility for your life.
If you are worried about your own memory or the memory of your loved one this can be a very distressing time for you. Understanding the very early signs of dementia can help you normalise the diagnosis and seek appropriate treatment as quickly as possible so that you can have a better quality of life.
Amongst the different types of dementia, vascular dementia is a neurodegenerative disease that is caused by reduced blood flow to the brain. It is usually the result of a stroke or narrowing of the blood vessels in the brain. This type of disease causes difficulties in all aspect of cognitive functioning, such as thinking ability, communication, reasoning. movement and in some cases significant challenging behaviour with or without psychosis and verbal aggression.
In the very early stages people become forgetful, lose their train of thought in conversations, become embarrassed and withdrawn in social situations. Gradually people move into the depression phase and isolate themself or feel isolated and ignored by their loved ones. It is important that you get support from your GP who will refer you to a memory clinic or an adult mental health team. A Psychiatrist will often conduct the assessment and advise a suitable treatment plan. If there is significant decline in memory along with challenging behaviour caused by Alzheimer's disease your psychiatrist may start you on some cholinesterase inhibitors such as; donepezil, galantamine, rivastigmine or memantine and combine them with any necessary antidepressants or antipsychotics. Your psychiatrist will always be the best person to advise you on medication but it is always important to do your own research.
If you are unsatisfied with the treatment plan don't hesitate to ask for a second opinion. Remember early treatment can delay signs of progressive dementia for years.
When we have unresolved trauma we are more likely to be sensitive in relationships. We feel highly anxious, rejected and abandoned by those close to us. Abandonment is often rooted in childhood. As a child you may have been denied your own feelings, been neglected or had a caretaker who was emotionally unavailable. As a result you learnt to be quiet and unattach yourself to people. You may notice yourself pulling away from conversations, craving for external validation and resisting positive change. You may have an innate feeling of shame, put aside your own needs, be overly agreable to things, tolerate abusive behaviour and find it difficult to stand up for yourself and assert boundaries.
It is essential that you step into your worth and practice healthy boundaries with yourself, and respect the boundaries of others. Instead of internalising your thoughts and being controlled by them practice mindfulness and self-compassion daily. Let go of control and be patient with yourself and your loved one. Attracting a partner comes down to energetics, unblocking love, completely and utterly valuing your worth.
Remember we attract partners based on our subconscious mind - the more work you do to heal you will consciously and unconsciously call in and manifest your person.
Copyright © Dr Samina London Counselling Psychology Clinic
